The Eternal Notebook of a Silent Man

Ice, slamming onto concrete. Shattered, irreparable. You lied, told me the wound had healed. And yet still, you turn from me You feign ignorance of my existence. Ignore my calls, texts, and attempts. I can freeze too, freeze you out. but I won't, I choose to forgive. I let you go, let your unkindness go. I have to move on, you will never truly forgive who truly was in the wrong Perhaps no one, perhaps both of us. I have apologized, I forgive myself even if you do not And I forgive you, I promise I forgive you

 I’m alone, I don’t know how to handle quiet. So, I listen to Sam Smith. “Sit with Sorrow.” Lying in my bed, tears warming my cheeks. If “I’m not perfect,” am I “worth it.” Worth your love, I ask myself, over and over and over why do I hate myself so much? There’s never an answer, just music. Sam Smith, “I'm gonna try to (love me more)” Deep breath, then sigh. again. again. again. Close my eyes. say it. SAY it. “I’m worth it.”